They crack me up. Like rotlf.
I had a student get off the bus crying (that's not the funny part!). A kindergartener came up to us and asked what was wrong. I explained that another student had smacked the crying boy up side his head. The kindergartener says "Oh... like this?" and smacks me in the face. Now... this kindergartener is... well, not completely socially aware. So although it irritated me to be smacked in the face I couldn't get all that mad about it but I did ask "Have you lost your mind!?!" To which he quickly answered "No," points to his head "it's right here." I couldn't even get mad. I just chuckled and had an impromptu lesson on why we shouldn't smack people in the face.
The first week of school I was dying of a heat stroke because the heat was on... in August... in Texas... on 90 degree days... and 75+ degree mornings. I just can't y'all. By Thursday I was done. So for the first time in 14 years I wore a ponytail to school.
During lunch duty a students notices my ponytail:
Boy: You look like my granny.
Me: Is that a good thing?
Boy: Oh yes! My granny had her hair in a ponytail, blue eye shadow and she painted her lips. I asked her where she was going? And granny said it's none of your business. Go to your room before I spank you. I went to my mama and told her granny's got a hot date!
I lost it! You never know what's gonna come out of a kid's mouths!