Wednesday, October 14, 2015

Cooties Alive and Well

Cooties is a disease that has been around for ages. It runs ramped in elementary schools. It's a fatal disease that can ruin friendships. It can cause people to run from you in disgusted. 

It is highly contagious. Cooties can be spread instantly by touch. Once you have cooties you can immediately spread it to others. 

There is no visible sign of cooties. But oddly an average student can detect it in another student. Usually the detecting student points and hollers "Ew! You have the cooties!" Thus causing other uninflected students to scramble away from the diseased. 

There is one known cure. It's called the cootie shot. The shot can be given by anyone. One can even give it to ones self. It's best when done on the forarm but any body part will do. It's quite simple. 

1. Take your index finger, place it on the forearm of the opposite arm
2. Make two circles
3. Make two dot
4. While doing steps 2 & 3 say the following:
"Circle, circle, dot, dot now I have my cootie shot." 
5. Sticking your tongue out at the person saying you have cooties adds to the strength of the shot and is highly recommended. 

Administer the shot as need. Typically once a day is safe. It's also better to have a witness. The shot is not addicting and cannot be used too much. 

Yes folks, cooties is alive and well!

1 comment:

  1. Whoa...this took me back...way back to my grade school days. We didn't have the saying, which is a nice touch. I have lived with the elementary set for many years and no cooties or cootie shots have ever been mentioned. So it was a strange delight to read this today and know somewhere they still exist. Ha...